College uncovers "weapons of grass destruction"
01 July 2009
College uncovers "weapons of grass destruction"
Top level diplomacy has defused a potential row over "weapons of grass destruction", which threatened war - or at least serious grumpiness - between two of the most popular departments at Oatridge College in West Lothian.
The situation developed when Equine Department's string of horses was let loose on prime pasture land on the College estate and, according to Agriculture supremo Peter Scott, "turned it into something resembling the Somme". Matters only got worse when intelligence leaks revealed that the normally mild-mannered Scott had taken to describing (cue Gene Autry, the Singing Cowboy) "those wonderful one, two, three, four-legged friends" as "four-legged fiends" and worse, "weapons of grass destruction".
Peacekeepers, in the shape of senior College management, were called in and eventually resolved the looming conflict by agreeing to the acquisition of a horse walker, the equestrian equivalent of a treadmill. In a conciliatory move, Scott even agreed to "volunteer" his farming students to collect and install the large metal structure next to the College stables...and well away from grazing land for cattle.
